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February 21st, 2007raw desire
January 3rd, 2007
i want. i must have. i will comb ebay for months until i find. oh….gucci wedge heel love..as yet unrequited…for now.
quintessence
December 10th, 2006
You are The Empress
Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation.
The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents,
beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight. You may be good at home
decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful.
The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born. This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love. Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.
What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.
hastalandim…hemen iyiyim
August 22nd, 2006I became ill in Konya…oh the likes of which you’d expect I’d be in New Delhi rather than Anatolian Turkey. It wiped me out for a good 36 hours.
Before leaving home, I spent over a hundred dollars at Walgreens buying every single possible OTC remedy I think I might need to avoid having to visit a Turkish hospital this time. I knew it might be overkill. So far it hasn’t been. I’ve mostly given it away though so far, antihistamines and cough remedies to relatives. Miraculous drugs we have in America. Except, that I left the medicine bag in Nevsehir thinking, what could possibly happen in 5 days in Konya.Â
Anyway, as I couldn’t even hold water down, I tried to resist Guzin’s insistence that I take her natural remedies, but I was weak, and gave in. First she had me drink a tall glass of ‘nane limon’. (pour boiling water over 2 tbs thyme, 1 tbs mint leaves, leave for 20 minutes, squeeze a whole lemon in, pour through a strainer, and drink immediately). Believe it or not, my nausea was cured in short order. I was able to drink water after and hold it.  She then made me eat a boiled potato with salt and sheep’s cheese. And later after having been able to sleep a little, to cure my intestinal distress, made me eat a whole lemon, a quarter at a time, each with a heaping teaspoon of Turkish coffee which is much like espresso powder. Aaack! Yes it was that bad. It didn’t cure me immediately, so she had me do it once more at midnight. I was so tired, and feverish, not quite delirious, so weak, and remembered suddenly I had an ibuprofen maybe, maybe left in my bag. Yes, one ibuprofen. Thank you, thank you….it killed my fever and I slept, even after having *eaten* Turkish coffee.Â
The next day I slept most of the day, and Guzin took Yasemin to the hayvan bachesi (Konya’s new zoo), and later the game park where she got to race motorized cars with little boys and apparently became quite competitive as she quickly got the hang of it. Now Yasemin says she’s ready to drive my car when we get back home. Note to self: motorized little car for Yasemin, as soon as we get home. How cool! She’s 4, and she’s my speed racer. ‘Hayir benim dur!’ I can just see her shouting behind to the Turkish boys trying and failing to pass her on the game park racetrack.
i am a wilted flower…. but Guzin
August 19th, 2006The heat, combined with the dust and humidity has me feeling just as that, a delicate, wilted flower. I crave ice, and A/C to bring my energy back but they exist nowhere. Every time I come here in summer I keep telling myself, never again, my body just isn’t made for this.
We’re in Konya now staying with Murat’s sister Guzin. Guzin teaches Turkish literature at a high school in Konya, and this coming Monday is the beginning of the new school year. Yasemin and I are going with her and will return to Nevsehir next week by bus.
As we were leaving Nevsehir, packing the car to go, there were so many tears, you wouldn’t think we were about to drive only 3 hours away. But the roads are dangerous, and she rarely makes this trip but maybe a couple of times a year. Though she talks to her mother by phone several times a day, it was the last time she would see her until the spring most likely, since she won’t be going back for Ramazan. Babanesi made us a pot of tea for the road, and plenty of borek which is a delicious layered thin pastry with goat cheese and fresh yogurt. Abdullah, my nephew is sulking he can’t come with us because he lost his chance by being a pain the night before traveling with us in Avanos and Urgup. He’s a normal excitable 12 year old, used to being the baby of the family though, and acting up a little now that Yasemin is here, we presume.
Half way to Konya is Aksaray, a boring, and not very beautiful city by everyone’s admission. It’s claim to fame is a very tilted minaret on one of the city mosques. Very funny sight. Otherwise my eyes are tired to see endless 10 floor apartment buildings and dusty roads.
we stopped just outside of Aksaray at one of Turkey’s many rest stops, mostly serving buses which is the preferred mode of transport. all in one place: a small grocery store, gas station, a large cafeteria-style restaurant, mosque, gift shop, *and* if you just ask they’ll wash your car while you have tea in the ajacent tea house. not a bad way to kill 30 minutes and stretch.
40km out of Aksaray is a still-standing caravanserai from the Seljuk period, a camel stop along the silk route. We stopped there to have tea and relax a bit. It was visually very impressive and I took a lot of photos. (video below)
We reached Konya just as it became dark…i actually drove the last 30km of the trip but we switched just as we entered the city.. it’s the 5th largest city in Turkey, and the largest in the Anatolia region. It’s congested, dusty, looks modern on the surface, but conservative. Guzin lives in a large flat near Selcuk University. She’s my age, unmarried and lives alone…quite modern and daring for a girl coming from this traditional family that she does… smokes close 2 packs a day, as do many Turks, and never misses ‘namas kirilim’ (the five prayers). just learned to drive since i’ve known her, and now whips through the narrow cobbly streets and congested roads of konya in her new car, like nothing. she’s tall, strong, opinionated, yet deferent, so warmly loving, and graceful. i love this woman, my sister-in-law. though she knows (now, that i recently told her) the extent of harm i endured at the hand of her brother whom she of course also loves dearly. she loves me, always, more than ever. i have so much more to write about her. an amazing woman. she’s in nearly every video i’ve taken…ha except the one below, of the caravanserai.
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
first call to prayer
August 15th, 2006Tuesday, August 15, 2006
uyuku geliyor…
August 13th, 2006easily convinced Guzin and Abdullah to go to Goreme just after the first call to prayer before sunrise. it’s the coolest time of day…nothing you can do but sleep as it starts to get so hot after 9am. but none of us have slept since the day before… visiting and drinking endless pots of tea with various family members every night until 2 or 3am this week. too tired to write. videos galore. enjoy:
Saturday, August 12, 2006
Sunday, August 13, 2006
aaah cappadocia
August 9th, 2006we’re in Turkey, we’re having so much fun… i forgot how much i missed this place and these lovely people. we cried and cried at the airport upon all seeing each other once again…. so happy
yasemin’s loving it…
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Wednesday, August 9, 2006
Tuesday, August 8, 2006
a pilgrimage
August 5th, 2006ca fait tellement de temps depuis la derniere fois que j’etais ici. c’est etrange, mais c’est exactement la meme aussi, apres 13 annees. il m’a manque.
so we made it to Paris. Yasemin’s such a trooper. she made it through the long flight(s) great, no, she was a mess, but quickly recovered. we dropped our stuff at the hotel and then i dragged her all over St Germain, St Michel, Odeon, Bon Marche at Sevres Babylone and Blvd Raspail, shopping the huge city-wide 50-70% off sales at all the boutiques. She was into it, only a few meltdowns, and after that i took her to the Jardin Luxembourg and she rode the carousel and burned off every last bit of energy chasing pigeons and climbing all the cool structures on the playground, now we’re back at the hotel, a full day it was, we’re going to sleep tonight.
i can already tell i’m not going to be able to recreate some of my most favorite paris rituals. there will be no sitting at a cafe sipping espresso and people watching for hours, or walking along the seine at night, soaking it into my being, this city.  I lived here alone all those years ago, i crave to experience it again like that, alone. not this time. and it’s okay. it’s still so beautiful, it’s exactly as i remember it, as if no time had passed. how is it that such a place can seem to resist time? even san francisco has morphed over the 13 years i’ve known it.
changes
August 1st, 2006wow! hizli hayati gecti
since i last wrote, we pulled off an awesome princess party in the park for yasemin’s 4th, well attended by cherished friends and family…
went to texas for a week for a family reunion…
received a pink slip from work!!! effective right after i return from Turkey in September. my whole dept is being outsourced… which is a blessing, i plan to take the severance and just chill for a while when we get back. i’m thinking costa rica. a friend invited us to peru in november.Â
Leaving for Paris in two days, staying at L’Odeon in the latin quarter for a few days, then from there onto Istanbul, Kayseri and Konya, 4 weeks of high adventure just me and Yasemin. on return, a few more days in London and Paris before coming back home after labor day… we are so excited.
Big changes, challenges, and limitless possibilities on the horizon.Â